On the 28th of this month I will start a 5 day vacation from work. Mostly it will be to tackle my garden and greenhouses. That will be fun. I enjoy digging in the dirt and there is a certain satisfaction in growing things that I don’t get from anything else. However, I am also determined to tackle spring cleaning. I’m dreading that.
I hate to clean, I really do. I avoid it whenever possible and delegate to the rest of the house shamelessly. My justification is that I do almost all of the real cooking and I buy the food etc… . They don’t necessarily accept that but the spawn units are programmed to obey. Mwahahaha.
It wouldn’t be so bad except Bill is a pack rat. A magpie. A squirrel. Any other animal that likes to stash things away whether they are useful or not. I throw things out; he boxes them up and hides them. In our epic struggle over the walk-in closet we came to a draw. I did manage to get rid of quite a few things, but he managed to squirrel just as many away in a shed. I let it ride because at least I could go into the closet without endangering my life.
That was almost 3 years ago, however, and the closet has been busy accumulating new useless stuff. So we are going to have a new battle on old ground, I just know it. He is already making noises about it and I haven’t threatened to get rid of anything yet.
Perhaps I can talk someone into taking him away for a couple of days. Then I can whip everyone else up into a cleaning frenzy and by the time he gets back it will be too late to save his collection of sweaters from 1983, the boxes of magazines and the various bits and pieces that he has saved. Just to give you an idea of what I am up against here, here is a picture of his key collection:
Yes, those are all keys that at one point or another belonged to something that we had. Now they are all useless. Except for fascinating toddlers with. When the picture was taken he asked me “Is my key collection going to be ridiculed on the internet?”
Yes, dear, yes it is. It illustrates what I am facing better than most things and pictures of the shed would only frighten people. Although, some people may be a little nervous about someone who has not thrown a key away in 30 years, I must admit.
So, anyone want to volunteer to take him away the week of the 28th? I’ll make you a cheesecake. Or anything else you want. You would be doing me a huge favor. Really.